The PUZZLE WARRIORS 3 LLC
A Podcast for fans of Marvel Puzzle Quest **
JablesMc
Five Star Hero
To the tune of “Jukebox Hero” by Foreigner
Waiting in the queue, with his head hung low
Couldn’t get a cover, the release felt slow,
Heard the shuffling of the tiles, he could picture the screen
Saw the powers animation, saw the whole damn scene
He heard one mouse click, telling him to stay
Thought of stars on a banner, just underneath his name
Got a brand new move set, with his own special store
Where people could recruit them, and now he knew for sure
That a mobile game, would feel good in your hand
Didn’t take long, to understand
Just one cell phone, held way down low
Underneath a work desk, was the only way to go
So they started matching, ain’t never gonna stop
Gotta keep on matching, real soon they’re gonna make it to the top
And be a Five Star Hero, (Got stars in there eyes)
They’re a Five Star Hero, They took one cell phone
Five Star Hero, (Stars in their eyes)
Five Star Hero, (Stars in their eyes)
They’re going Live, tonight
Now he’s in Latest Legends, doesn’t have his own store
Saw the two right before him, get kicked out the back door
Like a trip to a vault, or being put out in the rain
And that one more character, will make his whole life change
Now I need to keep matching, I just can’t stop
Gotta keep on matching, that boy has got to stay on top
Now he’s my Bonus Hero, (want more stars in my eyes)
He’s my Bonus Hero, (want stars in my eyes)
Yeah, Bonus Hero, (stars in my eyes)
_Daywalker_.
I feel like listening to Weird Al Yankovic my entire life and playing Marvel Puzzle Quest have prepared me for this very moment...
I present to you, "Hair Meddle," to be sung to the tune of "Stairway to Heaven."
There's a lady who's sure
All the special tiles are hers
And she's going to fire Hair Meddle.
When she gets in a match
If the purple AP flows
With just ten she can get what she came for.
Ooh ooh and she's going to fire Hair Meddle.
There's a special tile left on the board
But she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes her hair doesn't move things.
On a tile in the corner
There's a countdown that attacks,
And gets even more annoying if you match it.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.
Will Craig resist singing
To avoid another infringement fine?
And I think that the answer is no.
JendaMcGlynn, to the tune of “the baha men”
Well Latest 12s was nice, and Carol was bumpin' [Medusa! Yippie, Yi, Yo!]
And everybody havin' a ball [Skipped Gwenpool,! Yippie Yi Yo!]
But the vintage, they were forgotten [No covers! Yippie Yi Yo!]
So Demiurge respond to de call, hey Discord shout out!
Who let the vault out? [Who, who, who, who?!]
Who let the vault out? [Who, who, who, who?!]
Who let the vault out? [Who, who, who, who?!]
Who let the vault out?
Come back Peggy! And Rhodey! And Wolvie you x-force mon-grel!
Who let the vault out? [Who, who, who, who?!]
Who let the vault out? [Who, who, who, who?!]
Who let the vault out? [Who, who, who, who?!]
Who let the vault out?
Riding Dirty
By MPQ JendaMcGlynn who gotta have them good good covers
Devs see me hoardin', they hatin'
Them four stars, they tryna catch me hittin' fourteen
TRYINGA CATCH ME HITTIN' FOURTEEN
TRYINGA CATCH ME HITTIN' FOURTEEN
TRYINGA CATCH ME HITTIN' FOURTEEN
TRYINGA CATCH ME HITTIN' FOURTEEN
My vine is dyin, can't champ em
No ISO, they caught me hittin' fourteen
TRYINGA CATCH ME HITTIN' FOURTEEN
TRYINGA CATCH ME HITTIN' FOURTEEN
TRYINGA CATCH ME HITTIN' FOURTEEN
TRYINGA CATCH ME HITTIN' FOURTEEN
From Eric from Cincy (ronin-san),
tune of bruno mars, “thats what I like”
That Cray-Craig Life
[Verse 1]
Hifeey, hey, hey
Old-styilin’ all round State College
Fresh Bills in my wallet
Got a 4* that’s stylin’
So gon’ and get to matchin’
I match it for yah playas
Mat-Match it for yah
Gem flip then drop a perpetrator
Stop, Stop ‘em for yah
Got a podcast with my Homies
Wearin’ a kilt like bronies (yep)
Bring me an Avenger
Dazzler in that family (Sparklin!)
You got me if you want me, Homie
Ian got me if he want me
Said recruit me if you want me
Hit progression cuz you wanted to
[Pre-Chorus]
Dodge PVP attacks
I don’t need no eyes on ‘em
It’s that Craigy-sense
Ain’t got no surprise on me
Think I'm so Amazing, So Spectacularrrr!
Do all that an old man can do!
[Chorus]
New Comics’ up on my list
You know I read it so quick
That’s how I live that Cray-Craig life, that Cray-Craig life
That’s how I live that Cray-Craig life, that Cray-Craig life
[Verse 2]
I’m takin’ hits that hurt my ego
Natalie where did she go?
Please don’t tell me secret?
Promise me you’ll keep it, on the low
With great podcasts comes great trollability!
I promise Joe that I’ll never leave!
Longbox give me guidance
Everyday workin' a science
Take a look at those heroes
And tell me who's the freshest
Is it HER? (is it her?) Is it HE? (is it he?) Say it’s me! (say it’s me) and I’ll agree baby!
[Pre-Chorus]
Dodge PVP attacks
I don’t need no eyes on ‘em
It’s that Craigy-sense
Ain’t got no surprise on me
Think I'm so Amazing, So Spectacularrrr!
Do all that an old man can do!
[Chorus]
New Comics’ up on my list
You know I read it so quick
That’s how I live that Cray-Craig life, that Cray-Craig life
That’s how I live that Cray-Craig life, that Cray-Craig life
[Bridge]
You say that I’m the newwwwww guy
Well here I am baby, it’s my HOMECOMING
Welcome me, welcome me, welcome me
To the Puzzle Waarrrioooors! (GO FIND THAT ISOOOOOOO!)
If you want me PLEASE come and tell me
Just yell out Blizzcon, for you!!!!
Tell me Ian, tell me, tell me, Ian
What you wanna do?!
[Chorus]
New Comics’ up on my list
You know I read it so quick
That’s how I live that Cray-Craig life, that Cray-Craig life
That’s how I live that Cray-Craig life, that Cray-Craig life
Old shows I’m watching at night
You know I love BETTY WHITE
That’s how I live that Cray-Craig life, that Cray-Craig life
That’s how I live that Cray-Craig life, that Cray-Craig life
JFisch1979
Feel free to substitute "croissants" for "crescents".
Konshu Fighting (to the tune of Kung-Fu Fighting)
Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah
Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah
Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah
Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah
Everybody was Konshu fighting
Those fists were fast as lightning
Moon Knight was a little bit frightening
Throwing crescents with random timing
There was a soldier named Marc
In Eygpt's ancient sands
He fought to keep a tomb
From villainous hands
When it seemed that he'd be dead
With a bullet in the head
'Til a god intervened
Now this cat is really mean
Everybody was Konshu fighting
Those fists were fast as lightning
Moon Knight was a little bit frightening
Throwing crescent with random timing
There was crafty Mr. Knight
Who always had a plan
He said, "I like to wear white"
(huh, hah)
"So they see me come."
He struck a pose and made a stand
With a swinging of his hand
A smashing blow upside the head
That cat keeps rising from the dead
Everybody was Konshu fighting
Those fists were fast as lightning
Moon Knight was a little bit frightening
Throwing crescents with random timing
Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh, ha
Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh, ha
Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-ha
Keep on, keep on, keep on
Sure enough
Everybody was Konshu fighting
Those fists were fast as lightning
Moon Knight was a little bit frightening
Throw your crescents with random timing
Konshu fighting, had to be fast as lightning...
Chad/CMPK (in-game)/dwingillinois (reddit)
Fugue for Puzzle Warriors
(sung to “Fugue for Tinhorns” from Guys & Dolls
CRAIG IAN RAY
I got the team right here. With this I got no fear
There simply ain’t a node that I cannot clear
Luke Cage and SWitch
Plus Iron Fist will scratch my itch
This team I will never ditch:
Fist, Cage, and SWitch
Luke Cage and SWitch I got the power list. I think I got the gist
Plus Iron Fist will scratch my itch. Although there may be details I have missed
This team I will never ditch: TL; DR I got the mail to sort and give a full report
Fist, Cage, and SWitch. These powers are too bizarre About what made Joe both laugh & snort
I pimp for Dazzler’s game; I truly have no shame To prep them’s a bridge too far. There’s snark. There’s praise.
And I don’t care one bit if folks think she’s lame TL; DR And fanboy-ish turns of phrase
Kicks butt. Rocks hard. I miss Ol’ Cactus Jack – I wish that he’d come back The mailbag goes on for days
When she lands, she’ll be five-starred. For using Photoshop he’s got a knack! And days…and days!
I hold her in high regard Bang Bang! Bang Bang! The show is off the rails; my edit never fails
No Dazz – I’m scarred! All day in my head it rang A podcast version of WHALES! WHALES! WHALES!
The powers’ names are wrong; I’ll change ‘em in a song Way cooler than One Man Gang Cut that; cut this.
(Unless it’s over 30 seconds long) Bang Bang! Bang Bang! Cut Craig’s rant no one will miss
If/then: takes cash. I confess I am the type who won’t eat Spam Keep canon on the Tardis
Makes me madder than “Hulk SMASH!” But nothing’s doper than my Venn diagram They’ll all love this!
I think that the law is trash. I laugh; I yawn I rock a killer beard that never will be sheared.
Voice wails, teeth gnash. Can’t tell if I’m here or gone. I love the fact our fans love that we’re weird.
CRAIG: Dazzler rocks!/IAN: PSA’s/RAY: Never fear!ALL: We got the pod! Right! Here!